What is this guy talking about…
Any college hoops fan is wholly aware that the transfer portal is the new Wild West. It’s turned recruiting and roster construction into the American Frontier full of fifth year Seniors and Jack Gohlke wannabes. And that’s exactly why, at 5’9, 165lbs, 31 years old, and sporting a gout-riddled left elbow, I’ve officially entered the […]
Read More I’ve Entered The Transfer PortalFolks. The people are talking. And let me tell you, it seems as though the boys are in fact, back in town. That’s right. Later this month, the Commonwealth Eggshells are set to make their men’s league basketball debut. The Eggshells, a ragtag bunch of late-20s, early-30s Caucasians, will be strapping on the ankle braces […]
Read More Commonwealth Eggshells Set to transform Men’s League LandscapeThe summer of 2020 was an arduous time. Radioactive bats (or whatever) had launched the world into a full-on crisis. Folks across the nation were suddenly obligated to meet virtually with their Aunt Susan and Uncle Buckley via Zoom. And worst of all, my quest to become the hot dog eating champion of the world […]
Read More The Time I Beat Aubrey Plaza In A Bratwurst Eating ContestFirst of all, I want to be very clear about something: when I am at a wedding, and the hips are oiled up, and I’m shucking and jiving, I usually have a great time. Second of all, I want to be very clear about something: when I get a wedding invitation in the mail, I […]
Read More I Love Love, Hate Weddings, But This One Was Big FireI’ve thought a lot over the last few days about how to best kill a loved one. There’s the pillow method, which is tried and true. There’s putting Drano or other harmful liquids in her wine and making sure she really ties one on. I could even get her addicted to cigarettes and let COVID […]
Read More I’m Living In Hell: My Girlfriend Is Working From Home, Doing A 5am Radio ShowHEAR YEE HEAR YEE! It’s Lord Robert of the Realm. First of his name. Drinker of mead. Lover of King Richard. I hadn’t been to the far away land of Carver, Massachusetts in many moons. And I hadn’t been to King Richard’s Faire in even longer. Last time I was there I think I threw […]
Read More Bob Does King Richard’s FaireDeath, taxes, Twitter insulting me mercilessly on my birthday. At this point we can skip all the pleasantries and introductions, let’s get to the main course. Knucky clearly doesnt like to follow the rules. Is a nice gesture actually even meaner than being mean in the first place? Whoa. Call me a dart again and […]
Read More The internet roasted me for my birthday againIt all started with a fender bender. It was the Spring of 2015, and I was in the back seat of a taxi on my way to Logan International Airport in Boston, Massachusetts. I was headed off to the International Conference on Optical Materials and Technologies, which is far and away my favorite optical conference […]
Read More The Time I Kissed Steve BuscemiI spent no less than 168 hours preparing for my first ever trip to a Hibachi restaurant last Friday night. I couldn’t focus on work all week, was too busy breaking down film and working on form. I dreamed about nothing other than sake, shrimp, fire, and the smell of spilt drinks. I watched YouTube […]
Read More I Have No Clutch Gene and Blew It At HibachiI’ve been called many, many things in my day: homely, subterranean, physically inept, so on and so forth. One thing I’ve never been called, however, is a good cook. But that doesn’t stop me from cracking a couple eggs and having a terribly seasoned breakfast sandwich on a hungover Sunday. I was doing just that […]
Read More I Send All My Eggs To Chicken Heaven Together
RobDark 