Are we Joseph King? We have to be joking here. This could be the best album any of us have ever seen, right? Never mind the actually sounds, or whatever. I was never really a Harold type of guy. One Direction is a good philosophy for a football team, but, like, the band was mashed […]

Read More I’m Sorry But I Need To Talk About Harry Styles

As most of you know, a few months ago I gave up my lucrative career as a music talent scout and began various philanthropic endeavors across the globe. However, as my close personal friend Frederick Mercury once sang, the show must go on. Tonight a high-ranking music executive tipped me off about a little ditty […]

Read More New Bop Alert: Owl City’s Track Fireflies Is About To Take Over The World!!!

Sometimes things happen in life that are unexplainable. Things that are beyond the realm of possibilities. Unfathomable, some might say. One of those things happened last night, September 25th, 2019, the year of our Lord. What was it, you ask? It was the night Ballsagna took over the kickball world. Look, while kickball isn’t “America’s […]

Read More Ballsagna Took Over The Kickball World Last Night

Dana B: Salami fanatic, couch-urinater, hair-haver, and as of today, rap God. I received a text this morning from Dana B that changed everything I once thought I knew about the world. It shook me to the core. It altered my religious beliefs. It had me questioning right and wrong. Please, see for yourself: Wow, […]

Read More Dana B Just Broke My Brain. Is He The Next Rap Legend?

People fucking LOVE birthdays. They love them. It’s gotten to the point where people have a complete month dedicated to their birthday in hopes of soaking up as much praise and love as humanly possible. I was once extremely anti-birthday. But in my old age I’ve softened on that stance. Not because I enjoy being […]

Read More I Was Bullied On The Internet For My Birthday Again

The song of the summer is officially here! You can quote me on that. I recently came across underground rapper, Macklemore, while deep in hip hop Reddit forums, and boy am I glad that I did. He recently dropped a new single that is scorching eardrums across the country. “Thrift Shop” is an upbeat jingle […]

Read More New Song Alert: Thrift Shop by Macklemore Is About To Blow Up!!!

Before I get into it, you should know the following… Something I’m good at: Watching T.V. Something I’m bad at: Cooking good food Something I’m good at: Doing marijuanas Something I enjoy: A marijuana while watching the Food Network With that said, the other day it hit me – there should be a version of […]

Read More I Pitched “High Chopped” To The Food Network

Two games into the season, local powerhouse program, Extremely Winded, sits atop the standings at 2-0. Men’s league analysts and coaches across the country have taken notice and are whispering that “EW” could be in contention for a National Championship. Let’s take a look at the roster: PG – Robert Jones Jones, who is known […]

Read More Extremely Winded Roster Breakdown

Wow! Looks like Robert Darkness has found yet another up-and-coming musical act. This time it is in the form of the little-known group, “Dave Matthews Band.” According to the internet website Wikipedia, the band has been together for almost three decades, and have been playing local pubs and dive bars across the United States. Their […]

Read More New Band Alert: Dave Matthews and His Band Are Making Waves!!!